Choosing Happiness

By Laxmi Parmeswar MA, MS, LPC

I try to look from a distance

Your careless glance

Your whimsical smile

You are a mere memory

Though vivid and powerful

I want to find you

I need you

I am weighed down

Yesterday’s mistakes

Tomorrow’s uncertainties

Losses, pain, broken spirit

Regrets, guilt, misfortune

Tears, trials, turbulence

Invading my space

Imprinting my psyche

I will unshackle those chains

Of self-loathing, of anger

At myself, and others

Of burdens, victimizations

By others and myself

I will try to find you

Find a way to be drawn

To you, my illusive ‘frienemy’

My evasive entitlement

I am in charge of you!

I will forgive myself

I will fight, I will prevail

With relentless faith

I will drink from the cup

Of optimism, of possibility

I must act, not brood

I must hope, not give up

I must wake up, not sleep

I see you more clearly

I will find you soon

I look within, I learn

To hold your steady gaze

I access you inside me

Liberating my soul

Re-imprinting my psyche

I CHOOSE you, I have FOUND you!